thought Iwas relaxing...but I think I see "pain" in the eyes....
Alrighty....Since 1980 I have prided myself on being physically fit AND healthy...ok, not perfectly fit and not perfectly healthy...but it IS my lifestyle. BUT...having had my g-bladder removed in October, which, by the way INSTANTLY removed the chronic back pain that I've had mysteriously (to all my Primary Care Physicians) for 10+ years....put me out of commission for 5 weeks...then came Christmas break...wasn't feeling 100% yet so I took some more time off...hitting the gym occasionally and eating lots and lots of fun Christmas goodies...ie hot choco w/marshmellos, baked goods, gravy...breakfasts...you know..allllllllllll the forbidden foods...then it happened...Dec. 14 while Miss Joann, my favored cleaning lady was mopping...and I was "tracking" repeatedly...I decided to tip toe quickly just one more time over her freshly mopped floor when all of a sudden I WAS a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader and I DID do my jump splits...perfectly....who knew this almost 50 year old could get all the way down to that tile floor? I KNEW...that's who...I KNEW I COULDN'T...but surprisingly...I did...and here it is 5 weeks later and presto bada-bing...I'm STILL in pain. Yep, pain scale of 1-10...I live life at an 8...
Last week I decided to read the Motrin bottle...just to amuse myself....Since I've been hitting that little bottle every 4-6 hours for 5 WEEKS....it states, "Do not take this product for more than 10 days without Drs. approval".....ooopseys.....time to call the Dr. for some pain relief that won't rot my liver...
Almost forgot...2 weeks after the fall I DID make a little trip to the Dr.....my primary Doc was out but at this point I was desperate...I will see any Dr. that is in...you see every thing in life had become painful...I'm trying to do everything Christmas-like and I can barely walk....I'm needing to work off all the "gush" from post surgery PLUS all the extra "gush" from eating all the fab-u-luh baked goods the girls and I baked PLUS all the yummy stuff that just automatically comes rolling in just because it's Christmas...and I CAN"T....time to see the Dr.
Did I break something? How did this happen? I left his office not any wiser than when I went in....all the pain was in the hip socket...I was convinced something was bruised, sprained, broken, torn, SOMETHING....He was convinced I was a pampered Hospital Exec's wife in need of some attention...argh... doesn't he know me????? False attention seekers should be hanged by their toenails......... ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...he prescribes a muscle relaxer and 5 days of steroids, says he'll put in for some phys. therapy and off I go........later...all the drugs gone...still no improvement.. week 4...no p.t. has been scheduled ...and now I CANT live on Motrin (I've since switched to ex-strength Tylenol...go ahead, rot my liver I need ReliEF!!)
SO...FINALLY I call back to my Doc....get some pain meds, go to pt...and discover that I am truly NOT a pampered lady of leisure (ok maybe a little but I wasn't crying to a Dr for attn...I was really hurt) I have a "bulging disk"...yep...a real live injury BUT NOT to my hip...to my back. The PHD P.T. says, "the pain in the hip is just the pain pattern"...the pain originates in your lower back....thus explaining why MR. Dr didn't think anything was wrong...he checked my hip movement, flexibility, etc. and found nothing...I guess in med school they don't teach about "pain patterns"....grrr
So, I AM on the road to recovery....pain meds in hand, pt scheduled thrice/week...that's a fun word, "thrice"...how many people use that on a regular basis hmmm? AND, so what happened today might just not happen anymore...fell OUT of the car onto the garage floor...yep....my leg just didn't want to support this 2-ton-tessy today...nope....fell right onto the floor...take that Mr.Dr. ..ye of little faith.
But, my favorite part of the whole story is what happened yesterday. I'm lying on the pt bed, I have electrodes attached to my bare back and buttock (another fun word to say) with a 8 lb heating pad on my back and the 20 minute timer on...next to me...just on the other side of the curtain I hear the next patient come in....you can hear everyone's convo's which is fun bc everyone is old and they talk very loudly. I hear a man come in with a friend and he says, "I'll just put my chair here out of your way and sit down. She agrees that's a good idea then I hear another man talking and I think to myself..."are they gay? Why is 1 man accompanying another? Why do I really care or need to know is what I asked myself next...but I do...the next thing I hear is the Therapist asking the man sitting outside..."Can I take off one of these shackles?" He answers "yes" and then I hear the clanging of chains....what? Yes, Ladies & Gentlemen...there is a prisoner 4 feet away from my electrode strapped bare buttock...and he had to be shackled to comne to physical therapy.............NURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come unhook me now pleeeeeeeeeeeeeez....hahahah moments later I am finished so upon exiting my little curtained off pt room I glance to see "the man seated outside"...yep, it's the Sheriff....ahhhhhh, life and times of a florida housewife indeed....
I just want to add I'm feeling all snuggly and warm...why? you ask...well, I was all cold and chilled from taking the dogs out for "a break" as Tye Buckley calls it....so I came in from out of the cold winter and flipped on the fireplace, grabbed my Seminole Snuggly...then happened to glance at the thermometer that is mounted to the window...it reads...60 degrees...what? I am now all cold and uncomfortable when it's 60? Oh my...I am becoming a true Floridian. Oh...and the reason I got so cold is because I was chasing not 1 but 2 dogs..both a little afraid of me so they stayed just out of my grasp as I tried to pick them up...why were they afraid? Well...because I was yelling at them to "come here" because now that Lucy is a squirrel hunter like Ollie she chases squirrels..then today got distracted by the golfer across the street so she ran over there to bark at him (all 3 lbs of her)...this made me run after her which made Ollie run after me which made Ludy run back home! then an Escalade was coming from the right and a truck from the left so my yelling pitch is going UP.. Ollie takes off down the middle of the street...the SUV stops, opens the door all kids pearing out of the windows and the Mom picks up Ollie....I'm running...yep well, limp-running to get Ollie...the truck stops...and I...of course just look like an idiot...BIG baggy sweat pants, sweat shirt, house shoes...running after dogs that WON"T come.....grrrrr
now where is that painpill? that's all!
Last week I decided to read the Motrin bottle...just to amuse myself....Since I've been hitting that little bottle every 4-6 hours for 5 WEEKS....it states, "Do not take this product for more than 10 days without Drs. approval".....ooopseys.....time to call the Dr. for some pain relief that won't rot my liver...
Almost forgot...2 weeks after the fall I DID make a little trip to the Dr.....my primary Doc was out but at this point I was desperate...I will see any Dr. that is in...you see every thing in life had become painful...I'm trying to do everything Christmas-like and I can barely walk....I'm needing to work off all the "gush" from post surgery PLUS all the extra "gush" from eating all the fab-u-luh baked goods the girls and I baked PLUS all the yummy stuff that just automatically comes rolling in just because it's Christmas...and I CAN"T....time to see the Dr.
Did I break something? How did this happen? I left his office not any wiser than when I went in....all the pain was in the hip socket...I was convinced something was bruised, sprained, broken, torn, SOMETHING....He was convinced I was a pampered Hospital Exec's wife in need of some attention...argh... doesn't he know me????? False attention seekers should be hanged by their toenails......... ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...he prescribes a muscle relaxer and 5 days of steroids, says he'll put in for some phys. therapy and off I go........later...all the drugs gone...still no improvement.. week 4...no p.t. has been scheduled ...and now I CANT live on Motrin (I've since switched to ex-strength Tylenol...go ahead, rot my liver I need ReliEF!!)
SO...FINALLY I call back to my Doc....get some pain meds, go to pt...and discover that I am truly NOT a pampered lady of leisure (ok maybe a little but I wasn't crying to a Dr for attn...I was really hurt) I have a "bulging disk"...yep...a real live injury BUT NOT to my hip...to my back. The PHD P.T. says, "the pain in the hip is just the pain pattern"...the pain originates in your lower back....thus explaining why MR. Dr didn't think anything was wrong...he checked my hip movement, flexibility, etc. and found nothing...I guess in med school they don't teach about "pain patterns"....grrr
So, I AM on the road to recovery....pain meds in hand, pt scheduled thrice/week...that's a fun word, "thrice"...how many people use that on a regular basis hmmm? AND, so what happened today might just not happen anymore...fell OUT of the car onto the garage floor...yep....my leg just didn't want to support this 2-ton-tessy today...nope....fell right onto the floor...take that Mr.Dr. ..ye of little faith.
But, my favorite part of the whole story is what happened yesterday. I'm lying on the pt bed, I have electrodes attached to my bare back and buttock (another fun word to say) with a 8 lb heating pad on my back and the 20 minute timer on...next to me...just on the other side of the curtain I hear the next patient come in....you can hear everyone's convo's which is fun bc everyone is old and they talk very loudly. I hear a man come in with a friend and he says, "I'll just put my chair here out of your way and sit down. She agrees that's a good idea then I hear another man talking and I think to myself..."are they gay? Why is 1 man accompanying another? Why do I really care or need to know is what I asked myself next...but I do...the next thing I hear is the Therapist asking the man sitting outside..."Can I take off one of these shackles?" He answers "yes" and then I hear the clanging of chains....what? Yes, Ladies & Gentlemen...there is a prisoner 4 feet away from my electrode strapped bare buttock...and he had to be shackled to comne to physical therapy.............NURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come unhook me now pleeeeeeeeeeeeeez....hahahah moments later I am finished so upon exiting my little curtained off pt room I glance to see "the man seated outside"...yep, it's the Sheriff....ahhhhhh, life and times of a florida housewife indeed....
I just want to add I'm feeling all snuggly and warm...why? you ask...well, I was all cold and chilled from taking the dogs out for "a break" as Tye Buckley calls it....so I came in from out of the cold winter and flipped on the fireplace, grabbed my Seminole Snuggly...then happened to glance at the thermometer that is mounted to the window...it reads...60 degrees...what? I am now all cold and uncomfortable when it's 60? Oh my...I am becoming a true Floridian. Oh...and the reason I got so cold is because I was chasing not 1 but 2 dogs..both a little afraid of me so they stayed just out of my grasp as I tried to pick them up...why were they afraid? Well...because I was yelling at them to "come here" because now that Lucy is a squirrel hunter like Ollie she chases squirrels..then today got distracted by the golfer across the street so she ran over there to bark at him (all 3 lbs of her)...this made me run after her which made Ollie run after me which made Ludy run back home! then an Escalade was coming from the right and a truck from the left so my yelling pitch is going UP.. Ollie takes off down the middle of the street...the SUV stops, opens the door all kids pearing out of the windows and the Mom picks up Ollie....I'm running...yep well, limp-running to get Ollie...the truck stops...and I...of course just look like an idiot...BIG baggy sweat pants, sweat shirt, house shoes...running after dogs that WON"T come.....grrrrr
now where is that painpill? that's all!
